First, the Law . . .

 

My feelings on rules have varied over time. Strictly speaking, a rule guides the actions of other because the rule-maker can enforce certain behaviors using the promise of consequences.

 

Apart from cutting off contact – which generally serves no one's purposes in the end – I don't really have the power to impose a consequence upon anyone in this particular environment.

 

It's probably more worthwhile to think of the items you're reading here as guidelines. That people choose to follow the guidelines of others indicates a measure of respect to the people who set those guidelines.

 

Some of these guidelines reflect my experience concerning what works well in a role-play setting. Others reflect my view of common sense. They aren't particularly negotiable, but they could be subject to discussion if it helps us figure out where our interests intersect.

 

Read. Think. Communicate. It's probably the best order of events you could possibly follow.

 

 

Respect comes before everything else.

 

I don't hang out here to ruin your day or to punish you for ruining mine. You don't have to like what I like or do what I want to do. All told, I won't go out of my way to chastise you for your choices, and I'll treat you with as much civility as you deserve. Basically, I'm looking for people with the same attitude.

 

Being respectful usually makes it easy to be easy-going, but I'm trying to maintain my self respect at the same time I'm trying to be respectful to you. If you push the boundaries, I will push back. "Being respectful" and "being your doormat" are not the same thing.

 

 

I'm male. I'm old enough.

 

Those are all of the details that should matter. If you have other questions, please ask. Don’t be disappointed if I don’t share right away.

 

 

Don't beat me over the head with the idea that a quality of the "real world" automatically extends to the roleplay world.

 

Online roleplay is a mutual endeavor. It doesn't make sense to me that one writer would or should want to do everything – especially when it comes to doing something the other writer really doesn't want done. Aside from the trivial actions that advance a scene, the game works best when you avoid telling me what my character is doing or what has happened to him.

 

I understand that a real person can't withhold consent from most of the terrible things that happen to people all the time. For my part, I try to be a sport when it comes to writing my way into and out of realistic roleplay situations. With that said, I always thought the dissimilarity between real situations and roleplay situations – a thing you don't want to happen doesn't have to happen – was sort of the point.

 

 

Don't assume anyone has to be locked into one avenue of storytelling.

 

Perhaps Pieter's characterization is overt. My motivations are at least somewhat more subtle. I enjoy taking part in writing stories about Pieter. That I am unapologetic about the nature of some of those stories doesn't mean I am looking to forsake the story.

 

Stories are varied, though. Chances are, if you know the "why" and the "how" of something happening, we can hash out a story about it. That's the reason players discuss these things.

 

Post lengths are a tricky beast.

 

I've had reasons to rethink my position on post lengths and post limits. My tongue-in-cheek observation is that the lazy people out there gravitate to the person who will let them get away with doing the least. Since that's apparently me, it's now time to clarify . . .

 

Nobody wants to feel like they're putting out more effort than they're receiving in return. I still believe many people out there expend additional effort for the sake of doing it instead of for the sake of the story and the mutual enjoyment of the people involved. I will continue to write what I think needs to be written. That usually ranges between two and four IM boxes. If you write more, that might be fine. Keep it meaningful. If you write less, that might be fine. Make it meaningful.

 

Now "meaningful" is in the eye of the beholder, but even if we don't see eye-to-eye on what it means right away, we can always talk it out. Chances are, the play will be better for the effort.

 

 

If you have something to say, say it to me. If you have questions, ask me.

 

It’s not better to remain silent and be thought a fool than it is to open your mouth and supposedly remove all doubt IF you're actually becoming more informed in the process of asking your question. The people who would deem you a fool for asking questions are usually as uninformed as anyone else. Don't let those people shape your self-perceptions.

 

Don't tell things to people I know if you should be telling me instead. It gets tiring being the last person to find out that I'm having a disagreement with someone I don't even know. It's easier to work things out if you come at me directly and civilly.

 

 

The bottom line is that things start and end with respect. If we all remember that, then everything in the middle becomes second-nature.

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Need More Advice?

 

I see people who either don't realize that roleplay is a buyer's market, or don't care that it is. Either way, as willing as I am to play with most people who work up the nerve to post an opening – and I freely admit that working up said nerve isn't the easiest thing to do – I have to point out that offering an opening doesn't require the respondent to suddenly undergo a character change just to conform to what was offered.

 

I've had to tell people after four or five posts that what we were doing wasn't working, and that we might be better off trying something different some other time. That's not easy to do either, especially after you've expressed a willingness to play with someone, and then had that person put it on the line by opening with something. Most people put effort into their attempts at play, and no one gets much out of having to break it off in the middle, aside from the bad taste that comes with having wasted time.

 

Every good drama needs the right hook, but not all hooks are created equal or mesh with the way you know your character to be. With that in mind, I'd like to offer these time-savers to the "readers." Again, I'm not saying that these things have no chance of developing into a scene, only that they are less likely to work – less so than other ideas that might even be more clichéd. (One of the reasons why certain ideas get repeated so often is that they work well.)

 

 

Pieter is probably not your boyfriend.

 

Saying that Pieter isn't relationship-material is the understatement of the age – the fact that he has a "wife" notwithstanding. I don't have anything against the concept of nice, domestic scenes in which hearts are popping in the background. But that's not Pieter - putting him into such a scene will quickly turn into something different than what you expected.

 

 

Pieter is not the pizza boy or the mailman.

 

Now there are "film" scenes where Pieter might be the pizza boy or the mailman. In those cases, his identity would be secondary to what followed.

 

If you're actually starting a scene in your home, don't expect him to just show up on your doorstep out of nowhere – unless you plan on him already being in the house for some reason. That opens up its own can of worms. I can give Pieter a variety of reasons to be in a number of places. Delivering the milk isn't one of them.

 

 

Pieter doesn't always have to chase women.

 

Sure, everyone likes to be chased once in a while. It makes us feel valued. But the way I play Pieter's overdone, somehow "pretty-boy" and hypermasculine at the same time, adult-film star self, he doesn't have to try to attract women.

 

(See, at least I can be honest about being as clichéd as the next porn star!)

 

This is not to say that Pieter is always disinterested. But one of the easier ways to attract interest is to show it. If two writers show the mutual interest that eventually finds them playing, there's no reason why their chracters can't do likewise.

 

Part of the issue is sticking to your guns. Many of the same people who express such strong eagerness to play follow that up with timidity of character. Now, of course, it would be hypocritical of me to suggest that others should have to change their characters' traits but that I shouldn't. The trick is to know what you're getting yourself into before you start. In other words, don't let this happen to you:

 

You:

(Let's play! Let's play! Let's play! I'll even start!)

 

Me:

(Okay, let's do it.)

 

You:

[Sets a scene in a very public place. Writes something to suggest she's too shy to approach a guy.]

 

Me:

[Enters and writes something to suggest it hasn't taken long for a number of other women in this public place to be vying for his attention.]

 

You:

[Stays in her corner, suggesting even more that she's too shy to approach a guy.]

 

Me:

[Tries to do something to draw the other person into actually interacting without breaking his style or casting off all the other women who are still hitting on him. After all, what guy in his right mind would do that?]

 

You:

[Doesn't take the bait, and does something else to suggest that she's too shy to approach a guy.]

 

(Repeat for however long it takes for one or both parties to get tired of the scene's non-movement.)

 

I can't do much with submissiveness. Pieter works with women who exemplify brazen and shameless, and tends to attract the same kind of women in social settings. If you're too timid to step up and take your shot, then chances are he won't have a reason to notice you.

 

But here's a tip: I don't really want to spend my time "interacting" with the women I've made up and injected into the scene so I can flesh out Pieter's character. If I wanted to, I could sit in a room by myself and play out a full drama, taking on all the parts myself. But if we're the ones who have made arrangements to play, then I'd much rather be playing with you in the scene. Don't pick game time to clam up.

 

 

Pieter's life is a story line.

 

If I woke up one morning living somewhere completely different from the place where I'd gone to bed the previous night, living with people who hadn't been there the night before, or having figured out that entire details of my life had changed overnight, my first thought wouldn't be to play out the details of my new life. It would be "What in the Hell happened to me?" Why should it be surprising for Pieter to do the same, or for me to do it on his behalf?

 

I plan out certain details of Pieter's life so others won't have to do so, and so they won't be able to do so. There are people out there who don't mind that their characters go to bed as pimps and prostitutes and wake up as policemen and princesses. I'm not one of them. It's fine for those people, but it's not generally the way I like to play.

 

Your best bet is to warn me ahead of time before you drop Pieter into some scene that would be alien to him. I can find an "in" for him in most situations, but if you nail down too many details before I know what's happening, it becomes difficult to get into the scene.

 

 

In general, Pieter is not a lawbreaker.

 

Pieter doesn't live in Rhydin, where the only law seems to be "Do what you want." He lives in the United States. Having achieved naturalized citizenship has removed some of the threat of that whole "getting deported" thing, but it's not as though the point of gaining the benefits of U.S. citizenship (whatever they are) was to immediately embark on a random crime spree that could wind up getting him deported anyway.

 

Pieter won't break the law to get play. He doesn't have to break the law to get women, and it doesn't really do much for me as an avenue of play anyway. No kidnapping. No rape. If you make it obvious that your character isn't street-legal, then I'll tell you one way or another that I'm not interested. There are too many prying eyes for comfort in a "public" scene. Pieter may not be that intelligent, but he's not stupid.

 

Then again, there are ways to sell that last one . . .

 

 

Having something still beats having nothing.

 

So don't be this person:

 

You:

(Let's play! But you come up with the setting and scenario, and then start.)

 

Um, no. We can always discuss what you'd like to do, and I can tell you if Pieter would fit. We can make changes to the plan that work for both of us. But come to me with nothing, or expecting me to start, and you'll be leaving with nothing. 'Nuff said.