"Le mieux est l'ennemi du bien."

(The perfect is the enemy of the good.)

Voltaire

 

Not that it matters, but who is that in the photos?

 

Say hello to Sharon Phoenix. You might not be familiar with her – I wasn't, which is why it took so long to find the "right" likeness for this character sketch. Ms. Phoenix hails from Germany, which leads me to believe that she uses a performance name.

 

I don't know very much about Sharon, but there is one fact that I've gleaned from the Internet. You may want to sit down or brace yourself for this one: she's a tattoo model. Shocking, I'm sure.

 

More on this story as it develops.

 

 

What's the attraction? 

 

Yes - there are certain obvious factors. But the ones that really sold me were the counter-indicators to what we would perceive as natural, "God"-given beauty. I make no judgments on the rebellious tendencies of people with tattoos, but the notion of using the body as a canvas and framework for one's own expression of beauty stands as an admonishment of nature – "Thanks, but I'll take it from here" – perhaps with a thumb to the eye and a flipped middle finger thrown in for good measure. It should come as no surprise to learn that this went to the core of the characterization.

 

For perspective: this sketch sat as just an idea – a title and a note that something would eventually appear – for years going back to other websites. I found these photos, and within a week all of this started to write itself.

 

 

What's the angle?

 

The idea is both ludicrous and revealing, but if someone were to peek into the personnel files of the Celestials assigned to Earth's plane, he would find that an inordinate number of them fit two molds. Let's read straight from the scrolls, shall we?

 

Gritty, tough-minded and street-smart. Not a by-the-book operator.

Not above getting VERY dirty hands for a cause. Gets results .

 

Fundamentally loyal but chronically malcontent.

Abrasive and defiant towards authority.

 

That's not exactly sugar-coating it, but here's what it might as well say:

 

It's still a wonder that you didn't join the Rebellion – or worse.

 Let's put you where you can do the least harm and the most potential good . . .

 

(Incidentally, "everyone" says those files don't exist, but "everyone" also knows better.)

 

It's important to observe a point here: anyone who tells you that Celestial creatures lack free will is mostly off-base. To believe otherwise is to posit that the Giver created the Adversary and somewhere around one-third of the Hosts for the specific purpose of having them rebel against the very Harmony that She Herself established. This is ignorant to the point of being evil.

 

In the aftermath of the Rebellion, the Giver withdrew to reflect upon it, but She was not the only one searching for answers after the coup failed. The fact that some among what remained of the Hosts were quicker to find answers that suited them is no reflection on the Giver's Perfection, but that is another story for another day.  Still, it was no coincidence that the ones who found such answers had "perfomance reviews" of the sort you've already read. 

 

This presented the more straight-laced pencil pushers who were thrust into the responsibility of administering Paradise with a dilemma: a community of Celestials who could get results if given the freedom to operate, but who probably needed to be kept on short leashes to avoid further Cosmos-breaking clashes. Lest anyone forget: the coup was defeated, but a new war was set to begin. The solution was two-fold: Turn them loose on Earth. Hope for the best.

 

---

 

Fast forward to the Modern Era: now more than ever, people want to get their hands on things they shouldn't have, and get to places where they shouldn't be.

 

Are you on the wrong side of some line on a map or deep in the wrong part of town? Perhaps you need help crossing that border, paperwork that says you belong once you get there, or maybe just a little muscle to escort you back to turf that is friendlier to your colors?

 

Not quite your game? Is it possible that you have a liking for the ladies – or the lads. (Don't worry. No one here will judge you.) Looking for someone who doesn't keep bankers' hours and (more importantly) who won't say no?

 

Something else then? Maybe your interest is in reaching altered states? Need the right kind of firepower to push some sorry SOBs off their block – or to defend your 'hood from getting taken over by some assholes from around the way? Or perhaps you just want a front row seat to watch two dudes bash each other's skulls in a fight that is every bit as illegal as it looks.

 

Well, you can have all of those things and more – as long as you pay in cash, and it fits in the scheme of a larget plan. In fact, forget about that last part. You'll never know about it anyway. Hey, when it comes right down to it, what are "crime" and "vice" except means to an end? You had better believe that your money is every bit as good as the intentions of the "people" providing the service.

 

Because if you think they're bad, then you definitely don't want to see their competition...

 

 

Where are the stories going?

 

Humor: Alright. In comparison to most of the other sketches, I only indirectly characterized the members of this "wayward" group of Celestial creatures, but if you got this far then I'm sure you see where I'm coming from. I'm just as sure you can see how the idea of your local sex worker / smuggler / gun-runner / drug dealer / illegal fight club promoter / illegal gambling enterprise operator / "corrupt" official / mafia middle manager literally being on the side of the "angels" is friggin' hilarious.

 

Believe me – it's almost as funny as the idea of a Celestial in the skin biz.

 

Be prepared for acerbic wit and barbed back-and-forth banter between two creatures whose hearts are in the right places - even if their actions and words don't show it. And funny things can happen when someone's manhood (or womanhood) is challenged.

 

Conflict: I'm fond of observing that comedy and drama spring from many of the same sources. The aforementioned banter is being bandied about by two beings who share similar values when it comes to getting good things done by any means, and who might be starting to show signs of becoming jaded with their places in the cosmos. Let's not ignore the possibility that what starts out as good-natured ribbing can always escalate to fists or worse when one out of a pair of caustic personalities pushes the wrong buttons. It probably goes without saying that players earn bonus points when this kind of conflict happens "on the job" - no one should want things to be too easy.

 

How far it gets is anyone's guess, considering that people like the cops and criminal rivals (who may or may not also be supernaturals) don't plan their raids and hits around the drama of Celestials pretending to be worse beings than they are at heart. Whatever the reason for interruption, havng to talk one's way out of a sticky situation has all of the same story potential that having to shoot one's way out possesses.

 

Upon further review, most of these premises still seem like they have shades of comedy hiding in them. But this kind of fluidity is only a problem if you don't believe in taking advantage of it.

 

Casual: As long as we're mixing comedy and drama, it's worth noting that while well-connected vice merchants don't spend much hard time in prison, a trip to lock-up isn't out of the question. And what could say "kick up your feet" more than some mandated time in a steel cage?

 

Can two people really get away with doing whatever they feel like doing in a jail cell? I guess it depends on exactly what they choose to do, but it's a theory worth testing regardless.